Robin Williams

Madness

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.”

Brains

“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”

Money

“Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.”

Divorce

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet”

Psychic

“If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”

Reality

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ”

Spring

“Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!”

Terrorism

“The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?”

Brooke Shields

“The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev”

Burglars

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

Presidents

“We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself. ”

“When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?”

“You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.”